Written Nov 2012: Isn’t it funny that the high that you can be on one minute is so easily forgotten the next? It doesn’t take a whole lot of effort for the evil one to turn my eyes from the path. I have been bogged down these last few days/weeks wondering where I am in Christ and who I am in Christ. The devil raises a little bit of doubt, and instead of going directly to God for answers and direction (the right thing to do), I spend my time talking to others about it, thinking about it, trying to figure it out in my own mind (the wrong thing to do). Then what happens? The little seed of doubt that was planted takes root and becomes a tree that produces its own fruit of discouragement and faithlessness. But I have learned a BIG lesson: I NEED GOD. I can’t manage on my own without His direction even for one day. In the wilderness God provided manna for only one day at a time, so that His people would learn that they need Him and can trust Him to provide for them. It is when things are going seemingly well that I begin to think that I don’t need Him – at least not today… I am too busy today…. and then there is satan’s window… a little wandering off of the narrow path – looking in the ditch. It is not too difficult for him to push me over the further I lean that way. So I began to pray finally and broke through in prayer and realized that I NEED to hear from Him. And that is through His Word. I open the Bible today and there, in the first passage, God spoke to me. Deuteronomy chapter 7, verses 6-26. Who am I? He tells me: I am a person set apart for God. He has chosen me for Himself – “a special treasure above all the peoples on the earth.” He didn’t set His love on me or choose me because I was better than anyone else, in fact I was the worst, but because HE LOVES ME, He rescued me with a “mighty hand and redeemed me from the house of bondage.” “Therefore know that the Lord your God, He is God, the faithful God who keeps covenant and mercy for a thousand generations with those who love Him and keep His commandments.” He will love me and bless me (vs 13-16). And what if I am overwhelmed and everything seems stacked up against me (vs 17)? “You shall not be afraid…, but you shall remember well what the Lord your God did… the great trials which your eyes saw, the signs and the wonders, the mighty hand and the outstretched arm, by which the Lord your God brought you out. (18-19)” “You shall not be terrified of them, for the Lord your God, the GREAT and AWESOME God, is [with] you. (21)” Wouldn’t it have been better if I had gone directly to Him with that first seed that the devil planted and have it rooted out? Why did I wait so long to seek the truth? He told me today what I needed to hear today – that He has chosen me and He loves me. Hasn’t he rescued me and blessed me? Look at the mess that I was in. And now, I have homes and cars and careers. Healthy children and loving husband and joy. There are dry times, but those are to remind me that He is the source of all of the blessing and that I NEED Him. Everyday. Not just when the food runs out or the bills pile up, but everyday. I need my daily spiritual manna more than I need food for this physical body. I need to hear everyday that He loves me. I need to know everyday that He is with me. I need to know everyday that He has chosen me. I need to know everyday that He wants to bless me. He used His mighty hand to rescue me and paid the bill to redeem me from the bondage that I was in. When doubt creeps in – I need to remember what He has done for me. I need to see how He has already blessed me. I need to keep my eyes looking the right way. It is so easy for me to go back to the mud puddle and play for a while. But that is not what He has for me. He has already pulled me out and cleaned me off. Would I allow satan to tell me that I am still dirty and then, believing him, go back to the mud and lay in it? No! I will remember what the Lord has done. He rescued me and washed me white as snow. I am not a second class citizen – I am a “special treasure” – . Chosen by Him. I didn’t just accidentally hitch a ride on a carriage that wasn’t meant for me. I am right where I am supposed to be. He has chosen me. He loves me. I am His!